everyone is pregnant

Maybe it’s me, but everyone seems pregnant these days.

Since my last cycle – the one that ended with a miscarriage — a coworker, my boss’s girlfriend, and a friend from a past writing workshop have announced their pregnancies.

“Why doesn’t she just get a swastika tattooed across her chest?” a different friend said to me at the sight of woman sunning her big pregnant belly.

I laughed, but like all good jokes, it held a kernel of truth.

These days, every pregnant person on the street seems like an insult.

I know it’s possible that their pregnancies came only after eight IVF cycles, and their resultant credit card debt has forced them to move in with relatives.

Or maybe they are carrying conjoined twins with a 50 percent chance of survival.

Or their own beloved mothers are suffering a painful terminal illness, holding on until they can see their grandchildren.

In those cases – as in all cases of major personal suffering — being pregnant is ok. The problem is that I can’t know without asking, so where do I direct my venom?

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4 Responses to “everyone is pregnant”

  1. There is not any easy answer but it is very understandable. I hope you get the resolve you want and do not lose yourself in the process

  2. I’m not the only one who invents stories for ladies I pass by sporting enormous bumps. I feel I want to inject a little bit of fairness at times and I imagine all sorts of scenarios as to how they achieved their bumps.
    I look forward to reading some of your stories.

    ILCW

  3. I love your honest voice. I’m Tracey from thefertilitydaily (ICLW #118). I didn’t sun my belly when I finally had success on the 6th IVF try, but I really related to your observations and feelings. She’s 13 now, my son is 9 (ivf7) and I blog for my old RE to “give back” to those still on their journeys. you never forget and the debt or its effects are long-lasting. I miscarried twins/poss triplets on ivf3. i am trying to spread the word about a free micro-ivf contest we’re running til sunday. if you or anyone you know is interested (there’s other prizes too) please stop by the fertilitydaily blog ICLW 118. Good luck.

  4. I think a lot of people are pregnant at all times, but we’re just more aware of them. I hope soon you’re the one everyone notices with the bump.

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